FEATURE: Si Beckwith’s Weekly Thing | NARC. | Reliably Informed | Music and Creative Arts News for Newcastle and the North East

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Oh hi Mark…

I’ve been a bit obsessed this week with awfulness. During an internet trawl I discovered a new film in the process of being made called Roe V Wade. The landmark case that set up women’s rights to abortion in America is a story that definitely needs to be told.

Then I read more.

It’s made by right wing, pro-life, anti-abortion conservatives. The film stars Joey from Blossom, Mahoney from Police Academy, Tomi Lahren, Milo Yiannopolous and Jamie Kennedy off of Scream.

There was a lot to unpack there. At first, I thought it may have just been a fake Wikipedia page (me and my mates have edited Wikipedia at various points to say French footballer Olivier Bernard was from Darlo, Hugo Viana’s nickname was ‘Eddy’ and that Steve Bruce was a fat-headed twat) so I kept digging. There’s an IMDB page and various newspaper articles. So it turns out, what is definitely going to be utter dog shit is getting made. And I could not want to see it more.

I mean, it’s a point of view completely at odds to my own, and yes, you should make every effort to listen to the other side, but this is Joey off Blossom and Guttenberg. And two conservative gobshites with no acting experience. This is going to be beguilingly awful. Plus, if it goes well, I’m excited for the inevitable sequel of Roe V Wade V Predator.

Shitness fascinates me. The Tim Burton film Ed Wood is a great biopic of a man generally voted the worst filmmaker of all time. But the film is so perfectly observed and told, that by the end of it, you’re willing the eponymous Mr Wood to make the film that’s been voted the worst of all time.

Same with The Disaster Artist. James Franco’s depiction of Tommy Wiseau is wonderful. The man is a complete head-the-ball, but a glorious one. The Room is a film I’ve seen more than most ‘good’ films and it’s dreadful. Awful dialogue, acting so wooden you’d need Ikea instructions to put it together and a bizarre plot, but there’s real heart in there.

Stand-up comedy has littered YouTube with videos of bizarre people doing bizarre things, and I love them all. Poetry, art, writing; there’s a real beauty in people just trying and not being very good.

This Roe V Wade film could be easy to get angry about, it’s taking a horrible point of view and will be a didactic piece of shit, but fuck me do I want to see it, because the shitness of it will certainly win through.

Reasoned argument and debate is lovely, and should always be the go to, but if someone’s willing to spend millions of dollars to be wrong, I’m in. It’s nice sometimes, when someone whose opinions anger you are put forward in the medium of shit film. I’m just waiting for Brexit 2: Electric Boogaloo and I’ve got a weekend sorted.

You can find me on Facebook here, and on Twitter here.

Also, I know I’ve just spent an article talking about the joys of shitness, but I discovered this gem this week and he’s magnificent.

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