Bunch Of Fives: Cheap Lunch

Newcastle’s fuzzy rock trio Cheap Lunch have awakened from their dormant state to release a brand new, one-time-only single, Meatier Shower, and what’s makes this news even more nicer is that all proceeds made from its release go to mental health charity, MIND.

The track with its haunting, gradual intro, crunchy guitars and captivating Black Angels-esque vocals is a succulent slice of doom-laden stoner rock that leaves you feeling full and satisfied…

…Speaking of which, here the band gives us their top five cheapest lunches of Newcastle (in a modern northern economy)…

1. Saveloy Dip – You’re not northern unless you’ve been not been chowing these turgid meat tubes since you were old enough to tie your rockports. They grow out of the ground like asparagus and enjoy a smothering of beef juice and Geordie hummus.

2. Gregg’s Outlet – Greggs is spenny. The Cadillac of pasties. We recommend hitting up the outlet stores that are often located in yet-to-be gentrified areas, have a look about. They come with a free scowl from the Jackie serving you and sometimes they’re even warm.

3. Pigeons – These feathered scran bags are readily available and basically want to be eaten. Free-range and feeding on pasties remnants, Maccy ds, turds and other pigeons, you’ll never be disappointed by their rainbow of ever-changing flavours.

4. Metro-to-go – Town’s best kept secret. The menu changes depending on where you get on and off. From the yuppy carriage, there’s nice bits of ancient grains, fresh burst filter tips and liquified ice. Other locations offer new monkey background music and the liberating odour of Sunderland.

5. That puddle – a favourite watering hole of ours. Early mornings are advised to avoid the rush but happy hours are a real treat. You want grit? You got it. Want to make friends? Simply gnash your teeth, lick your gums, scream an obscenity and you’re in with the crew.