Narc. Magazine Online
Reliably informed
The Newcastle noisemakers tell us about their top 5 industry tips (that you never knew you needed to know) as they release their new EP, The New Nuisance
Newcastle music-makers No Teeth release their four-track EP, The New Nuisance. an avant-punk offering filled with boundaryless energy, fun and imagination. From the off, expect a sonic assault of growling vocals, blaring brass and driving guitars with rhythmic wrongfootings and waltzing carnival-esque keys. Components of the songs feel very welcomingly familiar, yet they are put together in a way that feels very fresh.
Here the band share their top 5 industry tips (that you never knew you needed to know)…
1. No mingling.
When it comes to networking it is important to remember that people are awkward and/or untrustworthy. You could get caught in up 3 mundane conversations about current affairs before getting to tell somebody about your latest business endeavour and even then, they are probably not listening.
2. Never share your name.
People knowing who you are and what you like to call yourself is going to bore people silly. Hide your identity where possible, that includes burning passports, bus passes and bank cards to further prevent any incriminating information from falling out of your breast pocket.
3. Present yourself as a minger.
You must smell bad to shift product, that is the key. Most people when prompted will essentially pay you to go away if you smell bad enough. This can really get your business off its feet and see in the beginning of a new financial year. Pretending that you are riddled with some kind of awful disease can also work rather well.
4. Forget all financial statistics.
Doing the maths right there and then whilst they gawp in awe is a far more impressive feat than having them written down on a piece of paper. Anyone could have written a few numbers down, but how many people know how a calculator works? Not many.
5. Moisturise regularly.
The handshake is one of the most important moments when making a business agreement. Moisturise at least every 45 seconds as to keep your hands slightly wet, a limp and slippy handshake is a sign that you have no mercy for shit-givers and/or back-chatters.
