FEATURE: Si Beckwith’s Weekly Thing | NARC. | Reliably Informed | Music and Creative Arts News for Newcastle and the North East

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I’ve generally been really positive about all manner of creative things lately, but if we’re honest, having a bit of a bitch is just always fun. So I thought for this week’s article I’d knock up a bit of a top 5, but of overrated awfulness. I’ve pulled together a list of five bands I think are hugely overrated. There’s some I’ve left out, so if someone’s popular but generally recognised to be shit and/or boring, they’ve not gone in (Coldplay etc, because it’s obvious, and also, the first album is alreet) and if you say The Beatles are overrated you can jog right on, because they’re not, they’re class and just saying it to be contentious.

That said, here are five bands who absolutely are not as good as people think they are.

Red Hot Chilli Peppers
These can just fuck right off. From Anthony Kiedis dressing like a 13 year old kid who’s decided to stick it to his parents by being all alt, to Flea winding up poor Marty McFly, to Will Ferrell playing drums, this band just suck. I hate the sounds every single one of them make and while they’re probably all nice lads, they’re music is utterly dreadful. Nick Cave once said, “I’m forever near a stereo saying, ‘What the fuck is this GARBAGE? And the answer is always the Red Hot Chili Peppers.’
They’ve got an excellent knack of churning out bland music that feels like it means a whole lot more than it does, or is more exciting than it is. They’re a tedious little group, though, some dues, without them the Reet Hot Chilli Peppers wouldn’t exist as a tribute band, and that’s a bloody smashing name.
Oh, and put your tops on you naughty boys.

The Doors
Self-indulgent nonsense. Jim Morrison is a pretty awful poet, and I can’t trust anyone who really rates these as a band. I gave them extensive listening in my teens, because I didn’t know any better, and I needed something to soundtrack me hanging my Betty Blue poster on my wall while wearing a Che Guevara t-shirt. I was exactly the sort of bell end who would like The Doors for a bit, and I thank the sweet lord most days I’m not now because they are utter dog shit.
Hippies are awful enough, but here you have pompous, overblown music-making ones. Aye, Morrison was lush, but no-one is lush enough to make The Doors not overrated, not even Frankie off of The Saturdays.

KISS
Yes, they want to rock and roll all night AND part of every day, and that’s admirable, but come on. They’re silly fun, but surely not a band to be taken seriously. I’ll pop them on a playlist, have seen them live and it was class (it was at Download Festival, I nipped off to see Dillinger Escape Plan in the middle, came back and they were still going) but they shouldn’t be anyone’s favourite band?
Lovely make-up, songs about his dick and reality TV star Gene Simmons make for music that’s just a bit crap really, fun, but crap.

The Stone Roses
I feel like I’ll get some flack for this one, but I just have never got them. I think they’re musically quite dull, and while they’re often set up as a truly seminal and genre-defining band, I think indie music would’ve gotten by fine without them.
I know they’re musically adept, Ian Brown is fine frontman but he’s got a grating voice and is churning up truly sub-standard lyrics. They’re also responsible for influencing some utter dross. While I can’t deny they have their moments, the drone of Brown over rave culture-influenced indie just isn’t that exciting.

Aerosmith
They make the list just because I was wandering round the house singing Dream On yesterday and I realised they were the only words I knew to the song, and the song became frustratingly annoying. I maintain I hit the high notes though.
Good videos with Alicia Silverstone, but yes Wayne and Garth, you are more than worthy. A band with all of the rock and roll swagger though few of the tracks to back it up. Steven Tyler now looks like your Aunty that’s on her third marriage and the second one was for money so she wants everyone to know she’s doing well.
Also, I thought the lyrics for Dude Looks Like A Lady were “Do The Funky Lady” so I blame for that for not enunciating well enough. Any band responsible for I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing should have all their rock and roll credentials revoked too; their leather jackets given to a charity shop, their cigarettes extinguished and lasses not doing rudies with them anymore.

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I’m hosting Red Raw at The Stand, Newcastle this Wednesday 24th October with the excellent Louise Young headlining, more info here.

Oh, and this cover is class. Enjoy.

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